I'm Dying to Test

OK, so technically I have been pregnant for 48 hours, and I am dying to see that little positive test. I know that if I peed on a stick right now I would get it - due to the remaining trigger and the wonderful little progesterone suppositories I am stuffing up my snatch. (BTW, I am not pleased about those. So far I haven't had the leaking cream or powder, but I am wearing a little liner in my undies just in case, and I HATE the feel of paper and padding between my thighs. My cooch likes cotton.) But back to being pregnant. I do not feel it. I feel bloated and miserable. My ovaries must be the size of lemons and I can feel smoosh everything when I sit down. I get jabby pain in my left side (mostly) when I get up too quickly. And I can't fit in any of my pants. This part sucks! I am tired and cranky. Yesterday all I wanted to do was cry. TOO MANY HORMONES! Instead I went to the County Fair and I tried really hard to have fun. I pretended to have fun. Really I just wanted to be in bed or under a rock.

I don't understand why I am not getting more enjoyment from being around my kids. They are driving me batty -- too much whining, crying, complaining...talking. They talk nonstop about nothing and you have to concentrate really hard to figure out what they are saying, but then they talk at the same time and all they are really saying is how they are not happy about what we are doing. It is so annoying! Wife says I am too short-tempered with them right now, and that I am the only one who doesn't see them as well-behaved, wonderful children. I wish I did. When we go to a friend's house, all I see is how aggressive Boy is. He jumps on everyone and everybody, and he tries to negotiate out of restrictions/rules. He is sensitive and quick to melt down when he doesn't get his way or when he gets in trouble. And he is bossy! (In short, he is just like me, or particularly how I was at that age.) Meanwhile Girl is actually pretty easy right now. Still really hard to understand and always wants to be doing something different than everybody else, but not too bad. Maybe I struggle most with the kids now because Boy pushes all my buttons because of our similarities whereas Wife is so much more like Girl. Or maybe it is because I am a hot cranky mess.

I need to be drinking more water - urgh , please no more water or Gatorade. I should be thinking positive thoughts - but I just want to sleep. Somebody please help me concentrate at work so I can get something productive accomplished!