Sips of Joy

I went to see Acupuncturist today - she always helps me feel so much better. I shared how I am so confused and conflicted. Why am I not jumping for joy at being pregnant? This is exactly what I wanted. I thought I would be all woohoo - and instead I feel a little numb. Tentative. Happy but scared. And she reassured me that there was nothing wrong with what I am feeling. Sometimes it takes a while for the news to reach the heart, especially when it has been hurt before.

She suggested I do two things:
(1) Cut off reading other blogs -- to stop my mind from going to the what ifs and infinite possibilities. On the one hand, I totally see her point. I do lean toward the hypochondriac and I worry that I let myself get disturbed by other people's news. On the other hand, I have really enjoyed feeling connected to other people, and I am not sure how I feel about "joining" a mainstream pregnant group - and I don't want to give up this feeling of community. Plus I have selected about 8 blogs that I like to follow at this point. So advice #1 is under consideration.

(2) Take Sips of Joy -- it may seem overwhelming to drink a full glass or expect myself to suddenly be exuberant. So I should start by taking small amounts, and seeing how it tastes in my mouth. Playing with it. (If only I weren't so exhausted all the time!) I will give serious effort to advice #2.

Meanwhile, the theme of the day is headache. I am having some minor cramping, turning to major when I move suddenly and/or laugh (yeah, that didn't feel good). I am so tired, even though I went to bed at 9:30 last night. But really, the headache is killing me. OK, that's the complaining for the day. The rest is gravy. Sip sip.