No Dice

It was negative.
It was negative.
(It still doesn't look right!)

I can't believe I wasted an open bar at my friend's wedding last weekend. I can't believe these things I am feeling are just PMS. This sucks! Urgh - all the phone calls I have to make. Maybe an email will do. What a crapper!

Later that day....
I am still processing, sad but trying not to let it get to me too much. Really thinking I need to refocus on my life (especially professionally), which I have been not exactly ignoring but not really paying attention to either. But I thought I would just capture the random thoughts that are floating in my head, so maybe I can get them out of there?
1- Should go I have a cup of coffee? What would caffeine do to me after not having a drip of it for almost 3 weeks. And in my fragile emotional state, will it make me too jittery and flighty? Should I just have a smoke instead? It has been WAY longer for that and it is certain to make me jittery and buzzed.
2- I just got this image of my future child or children in the freezer at the IVF clinic. They are on ice waiting for me to be ready. If anyone in the uni-sphere can please tell me when that would be, I would greatly appreciate it.
3 - I made the right choice with the 2-cycle pre-pay plan, so the next two (or so) tries with the frozen embryos not only won't cost anything, they are actually going to be putting more money in my pocket as I am able to submit more charges to insurance for reimbursement. So now it is like I am going to be paid to get pregnant. (Gotta love how insurance works!)