Snap Out of It!

Have you ever been so cranky it scares you? You know that you are going to be impatient and short with the next person who speaks to you? And you don't know how to get over it? That is me right now.

I have to get it together. I am in serious need of a break - from work, from my family, from responsibility. Is it ok to say I need a break from my family? I am so busy doing what I need to do or have to do that I am not able to enjoy anything. And this is a problem. I need to step off for a moment so I can figure out what I want to do - and I can't figure out how to take the time I need to do this. I feel as though I am spinning, and it is getting faster and faster, and I know that soon I am going to fly off and that it will not be pretty. Who knows where I am going to land and how much it will hurt. Do I just jump now, before I start going even faster? Or do I just hold on and hope that eventually "the ride" ends on its own?

I have been reading a lot of other blogs, mostly parents of twins, and I think I need to stop for 2 reasons: (1) I need the time to focus on my life rather, and (2) reading them makes me feel less by comparison. Seriously, how can a mom of twins plus 1, all under 3, have time to make a wonderful anniversary video on top of Positive Discipline and Equally Shared Parenting? Today is Wife's birthday, and I know I dropped the ball on the celebration. My gift was impersonal (she would have wanted a photo collage or movie - both ideas I started but failed to finish), my card bland (I just don't have the love for her flowing right now), the cake icky (I accidentally bought the sugar free mix) and the activity non-existent (I wanted to take her zip-lining but waited too long to make reservations so the tours are all sold out). I am such a lame and terrible Wife!

I have a list of other "family responsibility" items I need to do and I just keep adding to it - at some point I am going to actually have to do them. But I don't have the energy. I don't have the motivation. I am so blah! Really need to snap out of it!

So here is my action plan:
(1) Pick 3 things from my To Do list to accomplish THIS AFTERNOON.
(2) Find birthday weekend activity and purchase tickets (and this doesn't count as something from To Do list).
(3) Think of one more fun and personal birthday gift to bring home to Wife.
(4) Take 20 minutes before going home to have a short "me" time.