A few days ago (two days ago to be exact) I tried to make the resolve to be happy. To recognize that I have a lot to be happy about, and I can focus on that rather than dwell on what is not going well or worse yet, what might not go well.
It is amazing how a morning with two dogs, two cats and two 3.5 year olds can sap that resolve right out of you. Instead I have spent the morning wondering how I got in this situation. (I should have gotten rid of the demanding, farting, barfing animals years ago.) And will my children always be this whiny? Why do they break down and cry so much? Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a bad choice letting Wife stay home and take care of them? Because she is not the brightest bulb, so it is no surprise that they are not the smartest children. I get all wrapped up -- they are still young and they don't need to know their letters or sounds or even their numbers (which they used to know but don't anymore) yet. What they need is a desire to learn -- which I am not sure they have. OK, they don't even need that. They can be less-smart children and do fine. It is just harder that way. But seriously, how can I expect them to flourish with someone who didn't know New Jersey was a state, who doesn't know the colors in a rainbow and can't remember if the time change to Chicago is "up" or "down" even though we go there at least once a year and often more. BUT! There are smart people who come from less-than-inspiring parents all the time, and the reverse is true too --- so why am I stressing about this???
I know it is ridiculous. I know there is nothing I want to do about it (I don't believe in shoving learning down kids' throats). Can I just let it go? I am going to blame this freak-out on the Pill and Lupron. Woo hoo!
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