I forgot way back in January (January 11, to be exact), I graduated from the IVF clinic! Woo hoo. Conveniently I was at the midwife getting an ultrasound so the transition was pretty easy. Sadly the IVF clinic still sent me a bill for another $2,000. I thought everything was included! So bitter over that one.
Kiddo measured a little big I guess, because the midwife moved my due date up to August 12. I know, it isn't going to matter one day or another, which irks me a little - why bother changing it one or two days? Especially when we know on exactly which day "conception" took place. But anyway, now I have to white-out the highly decorated August 14 day in my calendar and put stars and such on a new day. Fortunately I hadn't started taking weekly/monthly belly shots yet because I would have to change all my 7w photos labels to 7w2d, etc. Seriously - what a pain!
I hope the belly shots will start tonight. I just have to figure out what to wear. I want to wear something that I will be able to squeeze into the entire pregnancy. But since I have no clue what size I will get...I know I am over thinking this, but that is what I do best. Plus I don't want to do the bra or underwear thing (even swimsuit top that looks like a bra) because Wife did it and it weirded people out to look at her all preggers and half naked. Whatever!
So I have quite a little pop/belly going on. Apparently (based on my new due date) I am officially 12 weeks today. So I have heard that it is probably all gas. Again, Whatever! I am pregnant and now I look pregnant - and have I mentioned recently that I feel pregnant? (yea, can't wait for this first trimester thing to be over so I can enjoy eating again.)
So between the nausea and the hemorrhoids (is that TMI?), I am really miserable here. I don't want to complain, but it is really my tush that is driving me batty. I sit at a desk all day and I am so uncomfortable. The only relief I get is when I take a warm bath in the evening. And that is getting really hard to do because Wife is getting tired of me not taking over for her the second I walk in the door. Which is leading to me getting really grumpy with her, so I am short, and then she is cranky with me and we are Not in a Good Place right now. I need a vacation from her.
On a good note, Kids are not driving me totally batty. Girl has been so super sweet, kinda like a leech that won't let me out of her sight when I am home, but nice and cuddly and supportive too. I am taking this wonderful (NOT!) magnesium powder to help combat the constipation and I totally overdid it. What I thought would be just a little fart turned into a bit more, as I was mortified to discover. I was quietly cleaning up my clothes when Girl noticed what I was doing. She looked at me with the most innocent look of wonder. "Did you have an accident, Mommy?" Me: Yes, I did. Her: Oh. Can we plan hide-and-seek? Thank you child for not making me feel like a complete loser! (Again, TMI? Sorry!)
I finally did it - I woke up early this morning and exercised before anyone woke up. I want to be physically active during my pregnancy - for endorphins, so I don't become a total blob, to support a strong labor, for so many reasons! And yet there were so many excuses not to - can't find the time, so so tired/need to sleep, feeling pukey, etc. We got a treadmill for Christmas because I knew I would never find the time to get to the gym. But then I discovered I can't use the treadmill when Kids are awake because they want to go on it with me (and they simply aren't coordinated enough and it is really stressful). So that restricted treadmill time to before 6:30 or after 9:00. I thought I would be able to do it late at night, but I have found that I don't have the juice. So this morning, I set the alarm for 6:00 and I only snoozed once. This left me an easy 20 minutes, which I considered a good start. And I actually felt really good this morning - a little more energetic for it. But yikes - tomorrow is the weekend. Do I wake up early again to continue "the trend" or do I wait to try again on Monday?
Have I mentioned that I want to bury Wife for a while? I think I brushed over my intense annoyance with her. She is so cranky. I can't stand her one-word answers and her defensiveness. I hate having to talk to her about anything because I know it is going to turn into a fight. She says "Dinner is obviously ready" and I say "why obviously?" and she says "Because I am not in the kitchen cooking." I am thinking this doesn't seem like an obvious conclusion to me...she could have not started yet (which was happening when we were eating late a few weeks ago because she was not feeling well so she didn't start dinner until I came home and she couldn't avoid it any longer), dinner could be in the oven (you know, a hands-off cooking approach like the casseroles I tend to make) or dinner could be done. Well, I said this -- I said I didn't think it was obvious and I explained myself (skipping the parts in parentheses) and her response: "You're an ass." Her response = totally uncalled for. But I see where she thinks I just pick on everything she says. So she says something is obvious, and I have to jump on her and say she is wrong, it isn't obvious. And I probably overreacted to being told something was obvious when it didn't feel that way to me. I know, hormones -- it is probably my fault, my doing. But in the state I am in, I don't much care. OK, not true. I care a lot, but I need some room. Well, I guess we both need some counseling and back-to-basics on communication skills. I am going to be under the hormonal influence for several more months and it isn't going to be pretty is we keep at each other's throats.
Other random thoughts of course, but this post is long enough. I am putting it in writing so I hopefully keep my focus - I want to blog every (work)day next week.
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