NT Testing Results

Good news on the baby-is-healthy front. But first let me set the stage...

I have to admit the ultrasound tech got me a little worried at first: Kiddo was being a little less than cooperative and wouldn't roll over. And I blew it by forgetting to drink lots of water beforehand. (The 4 glasses I chugged right before the scan didn't reach my bladder in time...) So anyway, the tech had lots of time trying to get Kiddo into the right position, and while she was waiting she looked around lots, showed lots of pictures of beautiful hands, feet, legs, etc. She was super chatty and even cracked a few jokes, mostly about me being almost upside down on the chair (hoping that would entice Kiddo to roll, but it didn't really). Anyway, when she finally got good NT readings, she suddenly clammed up. Completely. Then folded the towel over my tummy and said the doctor would be in soon to discuss the results. At this point my heart was beating so fast!

So, of course I turn to Wife to look for some reassurance. But it turns out she is really pissed at me and not in the mood to talk. Big cold shoulder. Apparently one of the things I was "chatting" with the tech about was the Kiddo's gender, and I mentioned how I didn't want to know it (if that was a possibility, just so it didn't accidentally come out). Wife replied, "Well 'we' aren't against knowing. I want to know." to which I replied "But luckily I get to decide." And that is why the entire ultrasound was ruined for Wife. Now maybe I shouldn't have said that. Maybe not as flippantly as I did. But isn't this something that I do get to decide? We have talked about it. This was not news to her. But apparently she is still pretty bitter about it, so I shouldn't have rubbed her nose in it? Did I? Well, I am feeling a bit conflicted - I apologized immediately but only half-heartedly. And I don't know if I feel like apologizing for real. I don't know if I feel bad. I don't know if I should feel bad. Do I need to be aware and considerate of the fact that it is hard for her not to be the pregnant one? Do I need to remind her that it was really hard for me when she was pregnant and I felt secondary? Knowing how I felt, should I make extra efforts to make sure she doesn't feel that way? Or do I get to enjoy being pregnant because now it is my turn? I am definitely going to have to think on this one a lot more.

But the bigger issue it brings up is what am I going to do during labor? I am much more seriously considering getting a doula now. Can you imagine if I accidentally said something while in the throes of labor pains that upset Wife and she froze me out? Wouldn't that make for a fun birth experience? Crap - I am so NOT in a good place right now. And it is stressing me out!

But back to the good news...Nuchal measurements were 1.3-1.4 mm, well below the 2.5 mm "borderline" for the Kiddo's size. Woo hoo! In fact, the risk of Down's is 1 in 1,400  and risk of Trisomy 18 is 1 in 13,000. OK! By the way, Kiddo is measuring 13w2d (when I should really only be 12w5d based on midwife adjustment and 12w4d based on IVF date). So maybe a little earlier birth? Hopefully not a really big baby - medium big would be perfect. Big baby birth scares my hoohoo.

OK, so now that I actually have work I need to shift into productive mode. Let me get things done for work, let me pay my bills, organize my papers, make plans to be with friends and address the serious issues with Wife. I need a plan and I will make one!